My to-do list for today

  1. Conquer the mountain of laundry.
  2. Wonder if there is a way to keep clothes permanently clean.
  3. Research disposable children’s clothing.
  4. Step on a minimum of two hot wheels and/or Legos.
  5. Plan interesting educational sensory activities for children.
  6. Decide said children really need more alone time to develop independence. Spend next thirty minutes trying to evade them while getting dressed.
  7. Spend next twenty minutes cleaning up alone time induced messes.
  8. Take children on a walk. Spend ten minutes packing up various snacks and drinks for them on the walk, even though you will be the only one exercising.
  9. Read at least three parenting articles that will make you feel guilty about your parenting.
  10. Feel guilty that you spend so much time feeling guilty.
  11. Create a sub to-do list of things you will accomplish during children’s naptime: mopping floors, folding laundry, finish that book, send e-mails.
  12. Feed children lunch, put them down for their naps.
  13. Collapse in a heap of exhaustion on couch and wonder how you ever thought you were going to get something done during naptime.
  14. FaceTime with your mother when one child wakes up early from his nap. Marvel at how she raised three successful daughters.
  15. Forget to tell her. Complain about amount of laundry instead.
  16. Explain the rotation of the earth and inner workings of the solar system to an inquisitive three year old who asked why it is daytime. Realize he just meant why is daddy not home yet.
  17. Mentally spend tax return on new spring wardrobe.
  18. Remember that you have yet to file tax return. Think that maybe you should do that during naptime tomorrow. Realize that would jinx said naptime, ensuring no one sleeps. Mentally return spring wardrobe to the store.
  19. Show off your latest acquired skill: reading children’s books with your eyes closed.
  20. Remind children of house rules: Tackle gently. Ask before tackling. No tackling from behind. If he’s crying, no more tackling. Okay, no more tackling. Please stop tackling. I’m serious NO TACKLING.
  21. Decide you want spaghetti for dinner.
  22. Check the pantry for spaghetti.
  23. Check the cupboard for spaghetti.
  24. Check the pantry for spaghetti.
  25. Realize husband could pick it up on way home from work. Debate which you want more: spaghetti for dinner, or your husband to come home twenty minutes sooner.
  26. Decide eggs for dinner sounds just fine.
  27. Brag to Facebook that you managed to cross every item off of your to-do list today. Bask in success.

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